Live and Learn
Jane slammed down the phone and left Aaron alone to try and figure out what the hell had just happened.
“Fuck!” he yelled into the now disconnected receiver.
Faye knocked on the door. “Aaron? Did I get you in trouble?”
Well…not totally alone.
“So ya finally dumped her, eh?” Paula asked as he motioned to the bartended for another bottle.
“Not exactly. We had a fight. But I’m pretty sure it’s over,” Aaron said, taking sip from his rum and coke.
“So what happened exactly?”
“Well I’d been pretty frustrated by this whole shy, wounded-pigeon routine. I mean you couldn’t touch the girl without her getting all tense and nervous. I didn’t do any of this crap to her and I’d been nothing but compassionate ‘til yesterday and she still refused to trust me even a little. Aggravating as all hell. ”
“Oh what a nice guy you are; relationships aren’t worth working on are they?” Paula asked contemptuously. She wasn’t really mad at him so much as she was trying to press his buttons and make him think. She was good at that.
“Don’t give me that crap. You know how I am. I’m more than willing to work on it; the problem was that she wasn’t willing to work on it,” Aaron said.
“Yeah whatever. That’s not exactly something to get all pissed off about. I’m guessing she had a good reason to be mad at you too, right?”
“In her mind, maybe. In mine she’s batshit crazy.”
“Let me guess: the sexbuddy? What’s-her-name?” Paula asked, chewing absently on a plastic drink stirrer.
“Faye, and yeah,” Aaron sighed.
“So she found out about her I guess?”
“Well she knew I was dating other people but…”
“Psh, dating. You said yourself you weren’t dating Faye. That you guys were just fucking,” Paula countered.
“Still, it’s not like we were being exclusive or anything. It shouldn’t matter if I go out and sleep with someone else, especially since Jane and I weren’t sleeping together. Faye and I were just lonely and having a good time; meeting mutual needs I guess you could say. Purely functional, nothing more.”
“You really don’t get women do you?”
“If I did, do you think I’d let you berate me mercilessly about my myriad of flaws and my incapacity to deal with them appropriately?” Aaron asked rhetorically.
“True enough. So what happened?” Paula discarded the now-mangled stirrer and, for the first time, seemed genuinely interested in the story.
Tom sighed and looked into his drink. “Well we went out to dinner and we were supposed to go see Charlie’s band afterward. They got that gig at The Underground and it was supposed to be their big break. Anyway, halfway through dinner she gets a call and one of her drunken bitchy friends calls her up and begs her to come pick her up and take her home. Now why her friend is trashed by 8:00 is beyond me.”
“Aha, the catalyst,” Paula said, finishing her second beer in ten minutes and motioning for another.
“So I’m kinda pissed. I tell her surely there’s some other person that can pick her friend up and how these tickets cost thirty bucks apiece but she doesn’t even seem to care. But I keep quiet and don’t antagonize her or anything 'cause I know the second I confront her she’ll clam up and never speak to me again. Ya just can’t talk to her about anything.”
“Again with the lack of understanding and the emotional insensitivity,” Paula mused.
“Maybe I’d be more sensitive if she’d told me why she’s this way. Right now it just looks like extremely irrational emotional baggage. But as you love to point out, I don’t understand women.”
“Ayup.”
“Anyway, she goes on home and I’m stuck with an extra ticket and a night of potential loneliness. So I called up Faye. She’s a ska fan and I figure ‘Hey, at the least the night doesn’t have to be a total loss.’”
“Heh, can’t get any emotional satisfaction, so we’ll settle for the physical, eh?”
“Sounds about right,” Aaron said, finishing his first drink and ordering a second. “So we got out, have a good time, come back, have a really good time, then I nod off. Bout half an hour later or so my phone goes off and wakes me up. I hear Faye in the shower and I sluggishly struggle to find my pants and then the pocket where my phone is.”
“Uh oh,” Paula mused with a smile. She asked for a straw from the bartender which she put into her beer. She began using her tongue to fish for the end of it and bring it lightly to her lips.
“Oh, gee, that’s nice. Thanks for that.”
“It’s not for you,” Paula said. “There’s a guy behind you about four seats away that’s been staring at me since we got in here. I’m trying to get him to buy my next one.”
“I think it’s your laser-like focus that endears me to you the most,” Aaron said.
“Oh shut up, I’m listening. You’re about to get caught. Keep going.”
Aaron sighed. “Anyway, I pick up the phone.”
“Hello?” Aaron asked weakly.
“Aaron, where are you?” It was Jane.
“I’m, uh,” Aaron started. He heard the shower shut off in the adjacent bathroom. “I’m out with a friend.”
Faye opened the door and walked into the room with a towel around her hair. “Damn that feels better. Oh hey, sorry didn’t know you were on the phone.”
“Shit,” Aaron sighed under his breath.
“Who was that?” Jane asked.
“Just my friend. Look I, uh, can’t really talk right now and I…”
“It’s a girl, isn’t it?” Jane asked dourly.
Aaron got up from the bed and slid past Faye, trying not to touch her, but still collecting some of the errant water that she had missed resting on the small of her back on his shoulder and arm. He motioned for her to give him a minute, at which Faye started to protest, but he closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of the bathtub.
“Look, I was pissed off about you bailing on me, so I called up a friend we went to the concert. It’s no big deal,” Aaron said softly, trying to make sure his words would not extend beyond the bathroom door.
“So where are you really?” Jane asked, a hint of anger creeping into her voice. Aaron decided it was time to give up the ruse and try to take the high ground from her.
“I’m at her apartment alright? Is that what you wanna hear?”
“Figures. Guys are all the same.”
“Look, I don’t know what reason you think you have to get mad at me. It’s not like we were being exclusive or anything, and it’s not like you and I were sleeping together. If we were, it’d be different, but without those conditions, I don’t think you have a leg to stand on.”
“I don’t put out so you go and get your thrills elsewhere. I hate men,” Jane hissed.
“I hope you don’t really think that. Do you think I’d have been this patient and put up with all you’re waiting and pushing me away if I was only looking to score with you?” Then something dawned on him. “That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? Why you never open up, never talk to me? Jesus Christ woman.”
“Why would I tell you my biggest fear? You’d only end up using it against me.”
“Look you’ve clearly got some issues that, had you mentioned earlier, might have prevented this. Far as I can see, you did this to yourself.”
Jane slammed down the phone and left Aaron alone to try and figure out what the hell had just happened.
“Fuck!” he yelled into the now disconnected receiver.
Faye knocked on the door. “Aaron? Did I get you in trouble?”
“Sigh, that sounds like a fun one. I’m sorry I missed it,” Paula said as the bartender handed her a fourth beer, this one paid for by the man behind Aaron.
“Yeah, I’m sorry you missed it, too. I coulda really gone for a threesome after that,” Aaron said with a grin.
“I told ya: fuckbuddies are a bad idea,” Paula said, ignoring his comment.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. So which one of us was wrong?”
“Well, technically you’re right: you did have the “high ground,” as you said, in that you weren’t in a relationship with her or anything. But you really fucked up in not taking her feelings into account. Sex is very emotionally intense for most women, and when you went off with this other girl and Jane found out, she felt cheated and cheapened because you don’t take it as seriously as she does.”
“Yeah, but that’s the thing. I don’t really care about Faye, and she doesn’t really care about me. We’re just friends. But I care about Jane; or at least I did ‘til she, like every other woman on earth, revealed her crazy side.”
“You’re such an insensitive jerk,” Paula said mockingly.
“You know that’s not true. It’s my penchant for letting women walk all over me that gets me in trouble, remember?”
“Yeah, well, ya live and ya learn, then you buy yourself another beer,” Paula said, raising her drink and tilting it toward him.
“Amen to that,” Aaron said, clinking his glass against her bottle and downing the last of its contents.
“Fuck!” he yelled into the now disconnected receiver.
Faye knocked on the door. “Aaron? Did I get you in trouble?”
Well…not totally alone.
“So ya finally dumped her, eh?” Paula asked as he motioned to the bartended for another bottle.
“Not exactly. We had a fight. But I’m pretty sure it’s over,” Aaron said, taking sip from his rum and coke.
“So what happened exactly?”
“Well I’d been pretty frustrated by this whole shy, wounded-pigeon routine. I mean you couldn’t touch the girl without her getting all tense and nervous. I didn’t do any of this crap to her and I’d been nothing but compassionate ‘til yesterday and she still refused to trust me even a little. Aggravating as all hell. ”
“Oh what a nice guy you are; relationships aren’t worth working on are they?” Paula asked contemptuously. She wasn’t really mad at him so much as she was trying to press his buttons and make him think. She was good at that.
“Don’t give me that crap. You know how I am. I’m more than willing to work on it; the problem was that she wasn’t willing to work on it,” Aaron said.
“Yeah whatever. That’s not exactly something to get all pissed off about. I’m guessing she had a good reason to be mad at you too, right?”
“In her mind, maybe. In mine she’s batshit crazy.”
“Let me guess: the sexbuddy? What’s-her-name?” Paula asked, chewing absently on a plastic drink stirrer.
“Faye, and yeah,” Aaron sighed.
“So she found out about her I guess?”
“Well she knew I was dating other people but…”
“Psh, dating. You said yourself you weren’t dating Faye. That you guys were just fucking,” Paula countered.
“Still, it’s not like we were being exclusive or anything. It shouldn’t matter if I go out and sleep with someone else, especially since Jane and I weren’t sleeping together. Faye and I were just lonely and having a good time; meeting mutual needs I guess you could say. Purely functional, nothing more.”
“You really don’t get women do you?”
“If I did, do you think I’d let you berate me mercilessly about my myriad of flaws and my incapacity to deal with them appropriately?” Aaron asked rhetorically.
“True enough. So what happened?” Paula discarded the now-mangled stirrer and, for the first time, seemed genuinely interested in the story.
Tom sighed and looked into his drink. “Well we went out to dinner and we were supposed to go see Charlie’s band afterward. They got that gig at The Underground and it was supposed to be their big break. Anyway, halfway through dinner she gets a call and one of her drunken bitchy friends calls her up and begs her to come pick her up and take her home. Now why her friend is trashed by 8:00 is beyond me.”
“Aha, the catalyst,” Paula said, finishing her second beer in ten minutes and motioning for another.
“So I’m kinda pissed. I tell her surely there’s some other person that can pick her friend up and how these tickets cost thirty bucks apiece but she doesn’t even seem to care. But I keep quiet and don’t antagonize her or anything 'cause I know the second I confront her she’ll clam up and never speak to me again. Ya just can’t talk to her about anything.”
“Again with the lack of understanding and the emotional insensitivity,” Paula mused.
“Maybe I’d be more sensitive if she’d told me why she’s this way. Right now it just looks like extremely irrational emotional baggage. But as you love to point out, I don’t understand women.”
“Ayup.”
“Anyway, she goes on home and I’m stuck with an extra ticket and a night of potential loneliness. So I called up Faye. She’s a ska fan and I figure ‘Hey, at the least the night doesn’t have to be a total loss.’”
“Heh, can’t get any emotional satisfaction, so we’ll settle for the physical, eh?”
“Sounds about right,” Aaron said, finishing his first drink and ordering a second. “So we got out, have a good time, come back, have a really good time, then I nod off. Bout half an hour later or so my phone goes off and wakes me up. I hear Faye in the shower and I sluggishly struggle to find my pants and then the pocket where my phone is.”
“Uh oh,” Paula mused with a smile. She asked for a straw from the bartender which she put into her beer. She began using her tongue to fish for the end of it and bring it lightly to her lips.
“Oh, gee, that’s nice. Thanks for that.”
“It’s not for you,” Paula said. “There’s a guy behind you about four seats away that’s been staring at me since we got in here. I’m trying to get him to buy my next one.”
“I think it’s your laser-like focus that endears me to you the most,” Aaron said.
“Oh shut up, I’m listening. You’re about to get caught. Keep going.”
Aaron sighed. “Anyway, I pick up the phone.”
“Hello?” Aaron asked weakly.
“Aaron, where are you?” It was Jane.
“I’m, uh,” Aaron started. He heard the shower shut off in the adjacent bathroom. “I’m out with a friend.”
Faye opened the door and walked into the room with a towel around her hair. “Damn that feels better. Oh hey, sorry didn’t know you were on the phone.”
“Shit,” Aaron sighed under his breath.
“Who was that?” Jane asked.
“Just my friend. Look I, uh, can’t really talk right now and I…”
“It’s a girl, isn’t it?” Jane asked dourly.
Aaron got up from the bed and slid past Faye, trying not to touch her, but still collecting some of the errant water that she had missed resting on the small of her back on his shoulder and arm. He motioned for her to give him a minute, at which Faye started to protest, but he closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of the bathtub.
“Look, I was pissed off about you bailing on me, so I called up a friend we went to the concert. It’s no big deal,” Aaron said softly, trying to make sure his words would not extend beyond the bathroom door.
“So where are you really?” Jane asked, a hint of anger creeping into her voice. Aaron decided it was time to give up the ruse and try to take the high ground from her.
“I’m at her apartment alright? Is that what you wanna hear?”
“Figures. Guys are all the same.”
“Look, I don’t know what reason you think you have to get mad at me. It’s not like we were being exclusive or anything, and it’s not like you and I were sleeping together. If we were, it’d be different, but without those conditions, I don’t think you have a leg to stand on.”
“I don’t put out so you go and get your thrills elsewhere. I hate men,” Jane hissed.
“I hope you don’t really think that. Do you think I’d have been this patient and put up with all you’re waiting and pushing me away if I was only looking to score with you?” Then something dawned on him. “That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? Why you never open up, never talk to me? Jesus Christ woman.”
“Why would I tell you my biggest fear? You’d only end up using it against me.”
“Look you’ve clearly got some issues that, had you mentioned earlier, might have prevented this. Far as I can see, you did this to yourself.”
Jane slammed down the phone and left Aaron alone to try and figure out what the hell had just happened.
“Fuck!” he yelled into the now disconnected receiver.
Faye knocked on the door. “Aaron? Did I get you in trouble?”
“Sigh, that sounds like a fun one. I’m sorry I missed it,” Paula said as the bartender handed her a fourth beer, this one paid for by the man behind Aaron.
“Yeah, I’m sorry you missed it, too. I coulda really gone for a threesome after that,” Aaron said with a grin.
“I told ya: fuckbuddies are a bad idea,” Paula said, ignoring his comment.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. So which one of us was wrong?”
“Well, technically you’re right: you did have the “high ground,” as you said, in that you weren’t in a relationship with her or anything. But you really fucked up in not taking her feelings into account. Sex is very emotionally intense for most women, and when you went off with this other girl and Jane found out, she felt cheated and cheapened because you don’t take it as seriously as she does.”
“Yeah, but that’s the thing. I don’t really care about Faye, and she doesn’t really care about me. We’re just friends. But I care about Jane; or at least I did ‘til she, like every other woman on earth, revealed her crazy side.”
“You’re such an insensitive jerk,” Paula said mockingly.
“You know that’s not true. It’s my penchant for letting women walk all over me that gets me in trouble, remember?”
“Yeah, well, ya live and ya learn, then you buy yourself another beer,” Paula said, raising her drink and tilting it toward him.
“Amen to that,” Aaron said, clinking his glass against her bottle and downing the last of its contents.
posted by Jon Fish at
6:37 PM
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